Nowhere to Park

Sometimes life doesn't always go your way. Let's face it. It starts off as a semi-decent day. You wake up, throw on some work clothes, get a nice cup of coffee, fix your face, make your hair look like you showered that morning (I recommend dry shampoo for brunnettes and baby powder for blondes), & then you open the front door to be greeted by the one thing you hate most. You discover the beautiful sunny and 75 degree Texas weather was brutally murdered by it's hideous relative you refuse to acknowledge exists.
The. Freakin. Cold. 

You think to yourself, welp... Atleast I didn't park too far away and I've got a heater in my office as you attempt to remain positive because it is only 7 am and you've got a long time to go. You make it to work on time and begin your regular routine. You think you've done everything you possibly can and it can only be like t-minus 2 hours until you get to go home, right? No. Wrong. It's 9 am and everything you've been working on for the past month is wrong and it's kind of your fault because you added in the information in the first place but in your defense you were only doing exactly what you were told. So you shake it off like Taylor Swift told you to. Then BAM. Something else you do on the daily is wrong and then you realize that your coffee is cold so naturally the world is falling apart and you will never look like a Victoria's Secret model and you still don't have a puppy so you google pictures of puppies and tear up at the cuteness. Who does that? We all do. But you suck it up and do your work, praying it's right this time and you leave. Thank goodness the day is over! Now you're ready to see your boyfriend and then meet some girls at a Cajun restaurant to celebrate Fat Tuesday!!! Yeah. Wrong again. You decided to drive so you could leave early because you're responsible (kinda). Then guess what?! You can't even drink away your sorrows because there's nowhere to park. So how does the day end? You're sitting on your boyfriend's bed eating the king cake he got you for Valentine's Day and drinking a whiskey coke out of a red solo cup. On the plus side it's not just any red solo cup... it's those fancy ones for legit college drinkers that you can stick in the dishwasher and it doesn't crack at the top when you bite on it.

Ready for the good news? 
You are alive and can feel the cold air. You got into your CAR to drive to your JOB. You have people that CARE about you and listen to you whine (even if you force them to read this blog) and let you eat all the king cake without judging. Oh yeah... & you've got food to eat. Yes king cake is food. It's actually it's own food group & is recommended that you consume it once a day for all of Mardi Gra season. Laissez les Bon temps roulez! Your days will get better & eventually you'll get a puppy. 

 

Til next time y'all <3 

 

50 Shades of Shut Up

So last night the huge, excruciatingly long wait was over and the ever so tempting Christian Grey invited innocent Anna into his office as the phrase "Mr. Grey will see you now" made thousands or millions (I'm terrible at guessing numbers) women and some men got a little too excited. Then the reviews came out. Women are complaining, saying the movie was too slow and too dramatic, it promotes domestic violence. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Here's the deal. This movie is not intended for people who did not read the book. If you have read all three books, like myself, then you would know exactly what you were getting into buying that ridiculously overpriced movie ticket.
I'm not going to see this movie so I can learn some new tricks for Valentine's Day. I am going for two reasons.
1: I am an avid book reader and when I see a book I spent some time on comes to life I am naturally obligated to go see it. Only to see if what I envisioned in my head is what "more important people" *according to Hollywood also envisioned. It makes me feel like I my brain is working to the right standards or something.
2: Because my friend got us tickets for my Birthday!

When I read the "50 Shades" series I noticed a few things. That the author was a newbie for starters. She used the word "intense" like over 100 times or something ridiculous like that & every dirty scene started with the same line. It was as if she had a little word document up titled "sex scene" and just copied and pasted it wherever she needed. To expect the movie to be super spectacular is just absurd. It's supposed to be dirty, it's supposed to be slow, it's supposed to be dramatic. I actually a little peeved that I heard the boom boom scenes were tasteful... THEY ARE NOT TASTEFUL IN THE BOOK. I honestly don't think this book should have been made a movie in the first place. If they wanted to bring it to life on screen it should have been a series on HBO.

& then... to hate on the movie because it promotes domestic violence. C'MON PEOPLE. How many movies do we watch with murder, with cussing, with abuse, with drug use? Huh? Why are those not criticized for "promoting drug use". I've seen a ton of movies with huge house parties full of drugs and it looks like a friggin blast, did it make me go to drugs? Absolutely not because I have a brain. In the books we find out Mr. Grey has a crap top of psychological issues and he's just 50 shades of messed up in the head but will the movie show that? No! Because real life problems don't sell on a big screen.
My humble opinion on this topic is... the whole world knows it's about dirty things where the women literally signs a contract to be submissive to a man. Then quit paying the industry that made it and don't go see it. Oh and another piece of advice... pick up a freakin book.

Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Grey will see me now at the movie theater.

Til next time y'all <3

Dust on the Bottle

I woke up, as usual, to the sound of an alarming going off way too early, I turned to my left and saw a sweet sleeping face. He smirked at me and whispered "Happy Birthday, Babe". Although I normally leave him peacefully sleeping as I scurry around the room trying to get to work on time today was a little different. So... I grabbed my cell phone and did what any freshly 22 year old in 2015 would do. I blared Taylor Swift's "22" and belly flopped back on the bed jumping up and down like the toddler I once was.
According to my predecessors, a Birthday is a reminder that you're going to like croak soon, that your youth has faded, and that all you can do now is tell stories of your past and sing "I ain't as good as I once was". I like to think my outlook on life will never let me feel that way. Instead of Toby Keith I wanna be singing "there might be a little dust on the bottle, it gets sweeter with time" or however it goes. I'd like to think that the love I feel from people I hardly speak to will continue to pour in on that glorious January 22nd day, regardless of the year. & that the love I feel is enough to last until the next year. I hope on my 69th Birthday I'm giggling because I'm still THAT immature.

Thank you for all the Birthday wishes, thoughtful gifts, shots that I didn't need but still took, and all of the memories to come.

Til next time y'all <3

PS: If anyone is wondering how my New Year's Resolution is going... let's just say I still don't own those shoes ;)

New Year = New You ??

I just wanna look like this again.

Maybe it takes the year to change for us to realize we need to kick our bad habits. We both know you should've put down that cig or that can of Copenhagen months ago but who am I to judge? New Year's Resolutions have become some sort of wish list for things we would like to happen but just to fit in we're going to head to the overly crowded gym for the first few weeks then give up and go back to our daily routine. Maybe that will happen to me, but I think typing it up for the world to see helps me stay accountable. Whatever. Anyways, your parents and those older annoying friends of ours were right when they told us that growing up sucks. That you won't be that flexible if you stop stretching and eventually all those late night Taco Bell/Whataburger runs are going to catch up to you. Man... they weren't kidding. Cheering for 15 years had me pretty strong and flexible... and not to mentioned, RIPPED without even trying. Oh the glory days. But since my days now consist of sitting in a chair for 9 hours, working out is really the last thing I want to do when I get back from work. & boyfriend weight.. yeah that's a real thing. All the Mexican food restaurant dates (our favorite) and beer drinking in my year of legality have taken a toll on my little bod. I've known this for awhile but it took last night to light a fire under my un-toned butt.

Yesterday I decided to try Pure Barre. It's an hour long workout class that consists of small movements targeting difficult areas of a woman's body. It was amazing but it finally hit me that I am something I never thought I could be: weak and no longer flexible... and if I don't do something, I'm gonna get
F A T. Lemme tell you something about a 5 foot tall girl... she can get away with a lot of things like wearing shirts as dresses and shopping in the little kid section on occasion but she can not pull of being fat. There's just nowhere for it to go! So anyways, starting now (yeah that's right, I'm hardcore and not waiting til the 1st) I'm going to workout a lot and cut out soda completely. Just go cold turkey with it. This alone is terrifying.. I'm a whiskey girl and let's be honest... whiskey isn't good without some coke or sprite but I have got to make a change.


Eyes on the Prize

Here's some tips if you don't want to go at it alone. FIND A PARTNER. Make your boyfriend go for a run, sign up for group fitness classes, find someone to keep you motivated. & most important: SET UP A GOAL. My friend and I decided that we were going to lose x amount of weight and as soon as we hit that goal... we're buying ourselves a pair of Tory Burch sandals we've been dreaming about for years. We're doin it for the shoes! I will definitely keep yall posted but don't worry I won't turn into one of those fitness gurus (I'm proud of yall but quit bragging, it makes us that don't have time to live at the gym feel even crummier).



Til next time y'all <3

Put Down the Beer and Set Your Alarm

It's that time of year when our college friends face the end of the all-nighters, the living (or dying) by the curve, and the ridiculously themed ragers. Whether they are the smarty pants that are graduating early or the respectable elderly that took an extra semester, Universities around the great US are saying goodbye to some wonderful attendees. While you may live in close proximity to these graduates things are still going to be different and we have got to learn that these new, responsible adults now have real things to do. They probably won't go out as much on a Monday night or hardcore Sunday Fun Day anymore since they work 40 hours a week. But don't they will figure out how to balance the scales. As for you grads; whether you moved out 4 years ago or are still crashing with the rents this is the going to be the first time in your life you are 100% on your own. Terrifying I know. You fresh out of college kiddos are having to search for your first job (if you aren't lucky enough to already have one), figure out how much money your past few years of college are worth (makes you sick to your stomach), and face the fact that the most paid time off you'll get it about a two weeks or less. It's time to realize that it's Tuesday and going to work not hungover is a lot more appealing than those few Shiner Cheers you have leftover in your mini fridge from the Tacky Sweater Party. On the plus side, you have accomplished something that not everyone gets to do and that is something worth celebrating. To the graduating class of Fall 2014... Cheers! & best of luck. Let us know what the real world is like and thanks for going first.

 

“Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."



Blizzle (middle) graduated in May & works full time & Courty Court (right) graduates Friday.
I'll be with yall in May 2015! <3



 

Til next time y'all <3

You're the Sprinkles to my Cupcake

Nowadays all women hear is to be friggin I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t do ya know what that means? It's beneficial but it's also annoying... yeah I got my own but I don't need the next rapper to keep telling me to buy my own mercedez. I think we need to start telling ourselves and other women around us that we need to be our own cupcake. Dang Hildawg, that sounds ridiculous. (I know you're laughing). But does it? If we started to see ourselves as the - insert your favorite flavor - cupcake we adore would we start taking care of ourselves? Would we start to realize that a toxic friend is like the poopy green custard icing that nobody likes and does not really mix well with our personal flavor? Would we start to realize that boyfriends aren't really a necessity but more like sprinkles? I mean who doesn't love some sprinkles on their cupcake but do you really need em? Once we start to grasp the concept that we do not need some of the extra baggage we carry we start to feel a lot lighter and less stressed out. That yucky icing doesn't have to go on your cupcake... & those sprinkles are NOT a necessity. Be your own perfect flavor of cupcake with the toppings you choose and take care of that thing because the 3 second rule doesn't apply to cupcakes since they tend to land on their face if there's too much sh*t on top.

Til next time y'all <3

PS: Sorry it's been so long. Life has me crazy busy....

Parent Meetin and Gamblin Sounds Like a Good Idea

So... the inevitable happened.



Meet the boy. #cake

I got tied down. I know, I can't believe it either. When you aren't looking life likes to throw you some curve balls and sometimes you just have to swing anyway. After my failed relationships I couldn't help but preach how important it was to be single and selfish and on your own, don't waste your time dating, people fail you, they're not worth it, etc. etc. etc. All these things are still true for the most part but when something important comes your way, or in my case offers me a margarita, you have got to take advantage of it and enjoy the tequila! I was happy and I was content and the best part is that I wasn't looking. He took me to the ocean as a "we don't know if this is a date" date and we've been inseparable every since. In a few short weeks I have learned that not all guys are bad and not all good guys are free from scars. We've both been burned before so opening up wasn't the easiest thing to do, but it also wasn't work. I'm not sure where this is going to go but for the weekend it's taking me to White Oak, Texas. Yeah... idk where that is either. I get to meet the family... ahhhhh. Just freaking out a little. On top of meeting the family I get to meet some of his closest and most influential friends in Shreveport, LA.

So.. wish me luck. Here's to bonfires, getting involved in close-knit families, and hopefully winning some money. #winningoverparentsandwinninmoney


Til next time y'all <3