50 Shades of Shut Up

So last night the huge, excruciatingly long wait was over and the ever so tempting Christian Grey invited innocent Anna into his office as the phrase "Mr. Grey will see you now" made thousands or millions (I'm terrible at guessing numbers) women and some men got a little too excited. Then the reviews came out. Women are complaining, saying the movie was too slow and too dramatic, it promotes domestic violence. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Here's the deal. This movie is not intended for people who did not read the book. If you have read all three books, like myself, then you would know exactly what you were getting into buying that ridiculously overpriced movie ticket.
I'm not going to see this movie so I can learn some new tricks for Valentine's Day. I am going for two reasons.
1: I am an avid book reader and when I see a book I spent some time on comes to life I am naturally obligated to go see it. Only to see if what I envisioned in my head is what "more important people" *according to Hollywood also envisioned. It makes me feel like I my brain is working to the right standards or something.
2: Because my friend got us tickets for my Birthday!

When I read the "50 Shades" series I noticed a few things. That the author was a newbie for starters. She used the word "intense" like over 100 times or something ridiculous like that & every dirty scene started with the same line. It was as if she had a little word document up titled "sex scene" and just copied and pasted it wherever she needed. To expect the movie to be super spectacular is just absurd. It's supposed to be dirty, it's supposed to be slow, it's supposed to be dramatic. I actually a little peeved that I heard the boom boom scenes were tasteful... THEY ARE NOT TASTEFUL IN THE BOOK. I honestly don't think this book should have been made a movie in the first place. If they wanted to bring it to life on screen it should have been a series on HBO.

& then... to hate on the movie because it promotes domestic violence. C'MON PEOPLE. How many movies do we watch with murder, with cussing, with abuse, with drug use? Huh? Why are those not criticized for "promoting drug use". I've seen a ton of movies with huge house parties full of drugs and it looks like a friggin blast, did it make me go to drugs? Absolutely not because I have a brain. In the books we find out Mr. Grey has a crap top of psychological issues and he's just 50 shades of messed up in the head but will the movie show that? No! Because real life problems don't sell on a big screen.
My humble opinion on this topic is... the whole world knows it's about dirty things where the women literally signs a contract to be submissive to a man. Then quit paying the industry that made it and don't go see it. Oh and another piece of advice... pick up a freakin book.

Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Grey will see me now at the movie theater.

Til next time y'all <3